William Glasser, an American psychiatrist who was known for the creation of Reality Therapy and Choice Theory, believed that all behavior is purposeful. Whether it is to satisfy our basic needs of survival or our desire for freedom, fun, love, belonging, or power, we act for a reason. We can control these behaviors by acting in certain ways that help people and our relationships (e.g. being supportive, encouraging, listening, accepting, or trusting) or hurt our relationships with others (e.g. criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, or punishing).
Our behavior is under our control; what is not under our control, are the behaviors of others. So for example, if an employer does not respond right away or does not show you the respect of replying to your follow-up email, do not fret. Employers are very busy people and sometimes they will take days to respond to an email or phone call. As long as you keep your composure and relax (do not email them a million times waiting for their response), everything will work out.
And if that employer does not respond back, it is not the end of the world. Perhaps they found an in-house option for the position or they found a better fit with another candidate. Do not be hard on yourself and do not lash out at the employer; your time will come. If you burn bridges with a potential employer you ruin any chance that you can have with them in the future.
Do not be your own worst enemy.
Graduate Asst., Hofstra Career Center
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